How to Downsize a Lifetime of Belongings Before a Senior Move

By Kerry Sholtes | Senior Transition Specialist 

If you've ever opened a closet, basement, attic, or garage in a home where someone has lived for 30, 40, or even 50 years, you probably understand why the word "downsizing" can feel overwhelming.

Where do you even begin?

For many seniors and their adult children, sorting through decades of belongings becomes one of the hardest parts of leaving a longtime home.

It's not simply about deciding what stays and what goes. That dining room table may be where every Thanksgiving dinner was served. A box of children's artwork might not have been opened in 25 years, but that doesn't make it easy to throw away. Even everyday items can carry memories.

When I'm helping families with senior transitions throughout Westmoreland County and Western Pennsylvania, one of the most important things I remind them is this:

You don't have to do everything at once.

Downsizing is much easier when you approach it as a process rather than one enormous project.

Start With Where You're Going

Before you begin clearing out the current home, understand the next home.

Is your loved one moving to:

• A smaller house or patio home?
• A condo or apartment?
• An independent living community?
• Assisted living?
• Memory care?
• A family member's home?

The amount of space available in the new home should help guide your decisions.

If possible, get measurements or a floor plan before making major decisions about furniture. Knowing that the new living room can accommodate a sofa and two chairs, but not an entire living room set, makes those decisions much easier.

This also helps shift the conversation from:

"What do we have to get rid of?"

to:

"What would you like to bring with you?"

That small change can make the process feel much more positive.

Don't Start With the Most Emotional Room

One of the biggest mistakes families make is starting with photographs, keepsakes or other sentimental belongings.

Those are usually the hardest decisions.

Instead, build momentum with easier areas.

Start with places like:

• The linen closet
• Pantry
• Laundry room
• Bathroom cabinets
• Extra kitchen items
• Garage
• Utility areas

Deciding whether someone needs eight sets of sheets in their new home is generally easier than deciding what to do with their late spouse's belongings.

Save the emotional categories until you've established a rhythm.

Use Simple Categories

You don't need an elaborate organizational system.

For most families, a few basic categories work well:

Keep

Items that are moving to the new home.

Family

Items being given to children, grandchildren or other loved ones.

Sell

Items that may have enough value to justify an estate sale, auction, consignment or individual sale.

Donate

Useful belongings that the family doesn't want to keep or sell.

Discard

Items that are damaged, expired or no longer useful.

One additional category can be extremely helpful:

Decide Later

Sometimes you simply aren't ready to make a decision.

That's okay.

Put the item aside and keep moving.

The goal is progress, not making every difficult decision in one afternoon.

Give Family Members a Deadline

When parents or grandparents begin downsizing, family members often say:

"Don't get rid of that. I want it!"

That's perfectly understandable, but it can create another problem.

If someone wants an item, establish a reasonable date for them to pick it up.

Otherwise, Mom and Dad's house can quickly become a storage facility for everyone else's future intentions.

A simple family group text or shared photo album can work well. Photograph items, ask who wants them and establish a pickup deadline.

Anything remaining after that date moves to the next category.

Be Realistic About What Things Are Worth

This can be one of the biggest surprises during a senior transition.

An item may have been expensive when it was purchased but have relatively little resale value today.

Large dining sets, china cabinets, formal dishes and some types of collectible furniture may not bring what families expect.

Before spending weeks trying to sell individual items, consider whether the potential return is worth the time and effort involved.

Depending on the amount and type of property involved, an estate sale company, auction company or professional organizer may be able to help determine the most practical approach.

Preserve Memories Without Keeping Everything

Sometimes the memory is more important than the physical object.

Technology gives families some wonderful options.

You can photograph children's artwork, digitize old family pictures, scan letters or photograph collections before letting them go.

For particularly meaningful items, consider writing down the story behind them.

Who owned it?

Where did it come from?

Why was it important?

Those stories may ultimately mean more to future generations than the item itself.

Don't Empty the House Before Talking to Your Realtor

This is an important one.

If you're planning to sell the home, talk with your Realtor before you spend significant money or time completely emptying, repairing or updating it.

Every home is different.

Sometimes removing most belongings before listing makes sense.

Other times, keeping certain furniture in place can help buyers understand how rooms function.

The same is true for repairs and renovations.

Families sometimes assume they need to replace flooring, repaint the entire house or renovate a kitchen before selling.

That may not provide the return you expect.

Before spending thousands of dollars, I recommend having a real estate professional evaluate the home and help determine:

1. What should be done before listing.
2. What could improve the home's marketability.
3. What probably isn't worth the investment.
4. What can be sold as-is.

The goal isn't to make the house perfect.

The goal is to make smart decisions based on the condition of the home, the local market and your family's priorities.

You Can Bring in Help

Adult children are often surprised by how much time a senior transition requires.

You may be coordinating medical appointments, researching senior living communities, handling legal or financial matters, working your own job and taking care of your own family at the same time.

Then someone asks:

"When are we cleaning out the basement?"

You don't necessarily have to do all of this yourself.

Professional senior move managers and organizers can assist with sorting, downsizing, packing, coordinating movers, donations, estate sales and even setting up the new residence.

Depending on your family's situation, other professionals may also be helpful, including:

• Estate attorneys
• Financial advisors
• Estate sale or auction companies
• Movers
• Junk removal companies
• Cleaning companies
• Contractors
• Senior living advisors
• Real estate professionals experienced with senior transitions

Part of my role when working with families is helping them determine which resources they actually need.

If You're Helping a Parent, Remember Whose Move This Is

Adult children often have the best intentions.

They see how much work needs to be done and naturally want to move quickly.

But for your parent, this may be one of the biggest transitions of their life.

They aren't simply leaving a house.

They may be leaving the home where they raised their children, celebrated holidays, cared for a spouse and built decades of memories.

Whenever possible, allow them to remain involved in decisions.

Ask questions rather than making assumptions.

Instead of saying:

"You don't need this anymore."

Try:

"Would you like this to come with you, go to someone in the family, or find another home?"

That sense of control matters.

When Should You Start Downsizing?

Earlier than most people think.

If a move isn't urgent, starting several months ahead can make the process much less stressful.

You might tackle one closet this week and one cabinet next week.

Even if your parent ultimately decides to age in place rather than move right now, simplifying the home can still be beneficial.

And if circumstances change unexpectedly, you'll be much better prepared.

What If the House Needs to Be Sold Quickly?

Sometimes families don't have months to prepare.

A health change, hospitalization or sudden transition to assisted living or skilled care can accelerate the timeline considerably.

In those situations, priorities change.

Instead of trying to sort every belonging perfectly or renovate the entire home, we may need to determine the fastest and most practical path forward.

That could mean coordinating a cleanout, identifying what absolutely needs to be removed, determining whether repairs are worthwhile and developing a pricing strategy based on the home's current condition.

There is no single correct way to handle a senior transition.

The right plan is the one that works for your family's circumstances.

A Senior Move Is More Than a Real Estate Transaction

Before becoming a Realtor, I spent more than 20 years working in healthcare.

That experience taught me that major life transitions rarely happen in neat, predictable steps.

Families may be making decisions about housing, healthcare, finances and caregiving all at the same time.

That's why my approach to senior real estate is different.

My job isn't simply to put a sign in the yard.

It's to help your family understand the real estate piece of the transition, create a manageable plan and connect you with resources when additional help is needed.

If you or a loved one is considering downsizing, aging in place, moving to senior living or selling a longtime home in Westmoreland County or Western Pennsylvania, you don't have to figure out every step before calling me.

Sometimes the best place to start is simply a conversation.

Kerry Sholtes
Senior Transition Specialist and Realtor
Melissa Merriman Team, Always Home Group KW Steel City

724-858-8108   724-861-0500

Kerry@MelissaMerriman.com

We can look at the home, talk about your family's timeline and determine what needs to happen now, what can wait and what may not need to be done at all.